


Dave from HR

by ThePanakinAnakin



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePanakinAnakin/pseuds/ThePanakinAnakin
Summary: Dave works in the Human Resources department for the First Order, more specifically, his job was to manage employee relations and other similar issues.In his opinion, this just makes him a glorified customer service lackey. He one day dreams of earning a better job within the First Order; however every day is a struggle.Join Dave on his journey through the horrors and trials of working in HR.
Kudos: 2





	1. Phasma

**Author's Note:**

> An AU where the First Order from Star Wars has a HR department.
> 
> Hey guys, this is just a fun little slice of life series, starring an OC who works in the HR department. This is set between TLJ and TROS (The Rise of Skywalker).
> 
> \- ThePanakinAnakin

**_Phasma_ **

****

Dave’s eyes stung in their sockets; he had been staring at his screen all day. He scrolled through the emails and groaned at the amount of complaints that had been submitted. Each new inquiry was more boring than the previous one. A majority of them were complaints about the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. Dave sighed and looked over at some of his colleagues, Katelyn the receptionist for HR was examining her nails. He rolled his eyes at the blatant display of unprofessional behaviour, why she got hired was a mystery to him.

Jeremy, who specialised in the IT and technician side of things, was attempting to reconstruct a computer monitor that had turned up mysteriously destroyed. ‘ _Poor Jeremy’,_ Dave thought to himself. The man never got a break, it seemed that every day more broken objects just appeared.

“Dave!” A commanding voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he swivelled in his chair to see Captain Phasma. Her armour was so polished, he could see his own terrified reflection. He gulped and put on his usual smile.

“Good morning, Captain Phasma. How can I assist you today?” Dave hoped she couldn’t hear the terrified beating of his heart.

“I have a concern, and it is rather urgent.” The mask made her voice cold and almost robotic; she wouldn’t last a day in his job. “I have asked Human Resources multiple times to deal with the issues that Lord Ren causes in the workplace. However, nothing about the situation has changed.”

“Yes, Captain Phasma.” He _had_ gotten a ridiculous amount of emails about the situation, however there was not much he could do. Kylo Ren _was_ technically their boss after all, Dave wasn’t entirely sure HR had any power over Ren.

“The fact that nothing has been done to rectify this is unacceptable.” Phasma sounded even more mad, if that was possible. “This behaviour is negatively impacting this workplace, so I expect something to be done about it.”

“Captain, with all due respect, he’s our boss too.” Dave was reluctant to talk; it might just be his last sentence. “I’m afraid there is nothing that can be done, we simply do not have that authority.” He had expected anger but did not expect her fist to slam down on his desk. Dave leapt from his seat in shock and ended up hitting his head on the corner of his computer monitor.

“You are all utterly incompetent and useless. I shall deal with the issues myself.” Her cape billowed as she left the office, but Dave now had a splitting headache.

“You should have done your job, Davie!” Katelyn remarked as she filed her nails.

“Katelyn, every time you speak a porg dies.” Dave retorted, holding his head. “Just do your job, and _don’t_ do General Hux.” He chuckled when he heard her gasp of indignation, served her right to be called out.

“Ladies, this is a professional environment.” Jeremy sauntered over after fixing the broken monitor. “Save the cat fights for later.” Dave wondered once more why he had to be surrounded by slackers and academy dropouts.

One day he’d get a new position, he just had to hang in there...


	2. General Armitage Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After braving the fearsome Captain Phasma, Dave from HR gets a new and more annoying person in his office. A prudish ginger with a terrible habit of screeching if things don't go his way. Ironically, more so than the Supreme Leader the general claims to despise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 3

**_General Armitage Hux_ **

****

The atmosphere of the HR department was tense, everybody seemed to be on edge. Once again, the Supreme Leader had thrown another tantrum over the scavenger girl. _It must be nice having only a girl to worry about,_ Dave thought to himself as he continued his work. He had to respond to yet another email complaining about Katelyn’s unprofessional behaviour. This was already giving him a migraine and his day had only just started five minutes ago.

As he typed up his response, he heard the doors open and the familiar clacking noise of a certain person’s boots. He already knew who it was and didn’t bother to look up. Dave heard Katelyn giggle and just pictured her doing that stupid hair twirl. She always did that when _he_ visited HR, too bad the annoying ditz wasn’t the general’s type.

“David,” General Hux greeted him loudly, and his nasal voice demanded attention.

“Sir, my name isn’t David,” Dave pointed out bluntly. “It’s just Dave.”

“Do _not_ speak to your superior in that tone of voice!” The general shouted at him, which made Dave’s migraine play up again. It was as if somebody had stepped on the tail of a Krayt Dragon.

“Sorry sir,” Dave replied tiredly, not at all sorry. “How may I assist you today?” His gaze left the computer screen and locked onto Hux’s.

“I have received information that one of your colleagues has taken an... _interest_ in me.” Was Dave imagining things, or was the general blushing? “I believe her name is Katelyn.”

“How unfortunate for her _and_ you,” Dave said before he could stop himself. He realised he had messed up because Hux became red from anger, and Dave anticipated another screech to assault his ears.

“That was a highly inappropriate comment,” General Hux retorted curtly. “One more comment like that and I will-” He was cut off by the human embodiment of an incurable brain rotting disease.

“Huxie boy,” Jeremy grinned like a mad man, approaching the general with a swagger in his step. “Katelyn got the hots for you eh?” Dave wanted to die the second Jeremy opened his unattractive and large mouth.

“Apparently so,” Hux replied as Dave hit his own head on his desk. Intentionally this time, maybe if he lost some braincells he could actually care about the situation.

“Does she know your lips are mostly sucking off the Supre-” Jeremy broke off with a yelp as Hux gut punched him. Dave watched this and chuckled, finally someone did that to the IT guy.

“Please inform Katelyn that I do not appreciate her interest, and that if she attempts to flirt with me again…” Hux narrowed his jade green eyes dangerously. “She will be immediately terminated on the spot.”

That comment gave Dave some hope, maybe she would be finally gone! A joyous occasion, he’d celebrate of course.

“I shall see to it at once, sir.” Dave replied before turning his attention to Katelyn. “The general requests that you stop flirting with him, or else you’re fired!” The horrified and sad look on her face made Dave cackle, this was the best day ever.

He heard the general walk away and sighed in relief, one less person he had to deal with today. He went back to typing the email he had intended to send before he got side-tracked with all this crush nonsense. Jeremy groaned from the ground and Dave peered over to look at him.

“That hurt,” Jeremy complained as he clutched his stomach.

“Better go see the medics,” Dave replied dismissively before finally managing to finish the email. Satisfied with the response, Dave sent it off and reclined in his desk chair. Suspiciously, the HR worker noticed that his migraine was gone.

Good.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks everyone for taking the time to read Part 1!
> 
> \- ThePanakinAnakin


End file.
